Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
People in love make me want to vomit
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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