guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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