I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
