the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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