this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Randomize
