Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I touched a dick in church today
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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