yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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