also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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