12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
