A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize