I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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