he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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