she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize