For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
