i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
