I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
