it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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