dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i think i just lost a toe
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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