Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
