Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
