just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize