I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
