Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
