I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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