Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
