Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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