come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
