i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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