I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
false alarm. still invincible.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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