It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
