just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
