dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
