Taylor Swift is so right about you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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