hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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