My nipple is on Facebook.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
