Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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