wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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