spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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