the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
