Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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