I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
