Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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