The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize