Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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