"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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