420 ftw
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
