just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
