Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
