First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
