This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
