Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
