People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is wine microwaveable?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
