You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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