Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
