if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Randomize
