OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
