Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
