Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
