my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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