The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
