I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
